I believe we never know how our words can affect someone, so let them always be full of love, grace and truth.

I believe I’ve failed a thousand times and will fail thousands more, yet somehow I’m still forgiven through Christ.

I believe we all waste too much time pretending our lives are perfect.

I believe we should pray big.

I believe I let the number on the scale control too much of my life and my happiness.

I believe His gracious favor is all I need. His power works best in my weakness.

I believe “if you are no longer wracked or in bondage to a person or a way of life, tell your story. Risk freeing someone else.” (Anne Lamott)

I believe I’m my own worst enemy.

I believe we should “be doers of the word and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. Because if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man looking at his own face in a mirror; for he looks at himself, goes away, and right away forgets what kind of man he is.” James 1:22-24

I believe we can die at any second, so be sure you know where you’re going.

I believe solely because of God’s saving grace and mercy am I still here today.

I believe I waste too much time worrying what others think about me and trying to please them.

I believe all sin is equal in God’s eyes.

I believe we should all learn to get uncomfortable.

I believe we should “speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; ensure justice for those who are perishing. Speak up for the poor and helpless, and see that they get justice.” Proverbs 31:8,9

I believe better days are coming.

Thanks to Brian for inspiring this post by asking what I believed.

What do you believe?

- I leave for Ethiopia in exactly one month! My dream of volunteering in Africa is finally coming true! I still have a lot of support money to raise, but I’m trying to keep up the faith.

- I battled cockroaches in my apartment for weeks. After killing “Cuddles” and about 100 of his friends, I think we’re finally cockroach free. So gross.

- Someone tried to steal my car in the middle of the night…probably one of the gang members down the street. A damaged handle and lock later (hey buddy, you’re going to need more than a screwdriver!) my car is safe and I went out to buy a Club. Yes, they still make them.

- I just got back from visiting my family in Kansas. I guess I look a lot different than I did in high school, because at a barn party many people didn’t recognize me. There were only 200 people in our entire school…I didn’t think I’d be that hard to recognize.

- The job is going well, but my mom says I work too much. She called me the other night and told me to stop working so much because she wants to be a grandma, so I should instead be finding ‘Mr. Right’ and settling down. Thanks Mom.

- A good friend reminded me that despite some circumstances, I’m still a fighter. I’m back to kicking butt.

- Wow, I’m realizing some of these stories are actually pretty funny. When I have time to sit down and write some more, I’ll have to fill in all the details. Life is crazy, but wonderful at the same time.

“this chick drinks more than me”

Awesome.

I finally looked the part to head to the Hill, but it was a different story when I arrived. Everyone there was a staff member and knew someone else. I was alone. To combat the awkward situation, I checked my phone several times pretending that I had some really, really important call I was waiting for, loitered by the sandwich tray, read the event program about 20 times, and of course made the classic trip to the bathroom. At this point, I’m starting to wonder why I even bothered to go to this uncomfortable situation.

Then an older man comes over and tries to make conversation. He asked me the typical questions about what I did and I asked how he fit into the scheme of everyone there. Turns out he’s the main lobbyer for Ethiopia on the Hill! I told him I was actually going to Ethiopia this fall on a medical missions trip. He was incredibly excited and insisted that I meet representatives from the Ethiopian embassy. He took me around the room to introduce me to a woman who works for a Congressman who is the forefront of legislation to benefit Ethiopia and he introduced me to a rep from the embassy who gave me the name and phone number of someone who would help with anything we needed prepping for our trip. Finally, I was actually able to meet the Ambassador from Ethiopia! It was only brief because he had to give a speech, but I was so honored and humbled to meet him.

During the Ambassador’s speech, I thought about how great PBS is for not only providing an outlet for filmmakers producing educational content, but because PBS serves as a platform for the voices of suffering and oppressed people around the world. Without PBS, the women in Ethiopia suffering from fistula for 40 years finally are able to have a voice. Now it’s up to all of us to make sure those voices aren’t ignored and that we step up to take action.

NOVA’s “A Walk to Beautiful” airs Tues May 13 at 8:00pm. You can find more information online, and watch the complete program after broadcast http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/beautiful/

I’ve tried to educate myself on the problems of the world over the past few years, but have never had the opportunity to actually travel to a developing nation. I don’t know quite what I was waiting for, perhaps more money, more time, or the “perfect” opportunity. Just over a month ago I was in Baltimore for Taylor’s birthday and at brunch with her and Tom, they said “What are you waiting for? Lacey, stop talking about it and just GO!” On my drive back to DC that day, I was at a stop light and became so annoyed at a homeless man who came up to my window begging for money. I rolled up my window and refused to make eye contact. Then a few blocks later, I stopped at a gas station and another homeless man offered to wash my windshield. I tried to ignore him by parking my car on the opposite side of the station. I went inside and as I was buying a Diet Dr. Pepper, I knew I should have bought him food – yet I didn’t. I literally paused and stood in the middle of the store and felt I was being torn in two directions. I knew I should have bought him food, yet the other side of me told me it’d be weird or awkward or embarrassing for him if I showed him kindness by buying him a few snacks. I didn’t know what to do…so I ran. I ran into my car, locked my doors, and started to cry. Who was I becoming?

I cried for most of the 45-minute drive back to my apartment. I thought about how filled with joy I used to be when I was serving the poor, and now I hardly recognized the person I was becoming who didn’t even make eye contact with a homeless man. I wasn’t Lacey anymore.

That same night at church there was a quick announcement for an upcoming medical missions trip to Ethiopia to set up clinics in remote villages. I wasn’t quite sold in the idea, but figured I’d go to the interest meeting just to check it out. Basically one thing lead to another, and I recently found out I was accepted on the team! We had our first team meeting yesterday and I’m so excited to establish relationships with these 15 amazing people to bring hope and healing to the people of Ethiopia.

It’s still difficult to keep the poor at the forefront of not only my thoughts, but my actions in daily life. I think it’s always going to be a struggle because of the culture we live in, but I do feel my life is starting to come full circle, and that I’m finally becoming Lacey again.

I gave my new address to my mom and she said, “Can I write this one down in ink, or should I continue using pencil?”

Not funny, Mom.

But maybe pencil just to be safe

While the media headlines are flooded with obesity stories, the rates of eating disorders continue to rise. Remember the young Brazilian model who died from anorexia about a year ago? Her younger sister was also a model…and just died yesterday, also suspected to have an eating disorder.
Teenage Model Dies Six Months After Anorexic Sister

Polly’s death is now thought to be from suicide. Many have heard about the prevalence of eating disorders in American society, but what happens to those with eating disorders in the long term?

In one study, less than half fully recovered, one-third had symptoms improve, and one-fifth remained chronically ill.

Anorexia nervosa is the deadliest of all mental illnesses, with the death rate between 5 – 20 percent. One cause of the high death rate that often goes unspoken, and that stole Polly’s life, is suicide.

In the companion book to the documentary, Polly wrote as her final entry: “I just want to be happy. Before, when I was really sick with anorexia, I didn’t think I had anything worth living for. But now I’ve got too much I still want to do. I look forward to the rest of my life.”

Unfortunately that life was cut too short. How many deaths will it take before serious action is taken to raise awareness about eating disorders and to hold our health care system accountable for affordable access to treatment?

Polly, you are missed already. May you rest in peace and have finally found peace with yourself.